It is my opinion that dads have to take a lot of stress with a lot less emphasis and space to deal.
He is the first mate, partner in crime and first line of support for mom and baby. A Doula can create safe spaces for dads to get answers to questions they may have, learn about changes that are coming and obtain the confidence needed to press through parenting a new life.
There is very little visible support for dads. It exists, it's just not marketed the same way, right? Like how often and how accessible are daddy meet up groups? Why isn't it as common for people to go and check on dad after the baby is born or ask him how he is feeling or if he needs anything? Of course this is in comparison to the support we see for moms.
But who is a doula to a dad? Maybe a stranger. Maybe an uninvited friend. Maybe someone who will be able to connect with the woman you know, or knew, or still know. It must be difficult watching her change. Watching things happening to her that neither of you can control. Anticipating joy but all the while practicing patience.
The Doula you hire can help you make the most of the time you spend waiting for baby. Not only can you ask her to help educate and support your partner, but you can ask her to do those things for you. Doulas are for the entire family unit. The goal working with a Doula as a resource is not to give you room to assume. Other professionals surrounding your child's birth are there to assure healthful interactions that do have boundaries. An example of a boundary might be how a Doctor or a Midwife give health and clinical care and have to be educated to meet medical demands and needs as they come with the process of birth. Your doula works in the places around those boundaries that no one might recognize. An example of those hiding places could be preferences in decision making and is we offer it in providing support to your family as a whole. We want dads to feel empowered to support the way that feels right for their family. That is were the doula steps in and you would be amazed what a difference that person makes when they are committed to being there for you, Dad, the same way you have committed to be there for Mom, to be there for Baby.Â
Hiring a Doula after baby is born can seriously aide the transitions that come with having a new baby in your life. Again, visiting the idea that Doulas are resources and support people, Dads can ask postpartum Doulas to help put together strategies to help when the family goes back to work, or hold the baby while someone catches a nap or assist with meal preparation for the family. There are no instructions for child rearing and babies do not come with guides. The changes that come with everything parenting makes it so easy to loose yourself. Many families find themselves in places where they have to redefine and reevaluate so many pieces of life that used to seem so simple. A Doula is a great option to help with this transition.
Doulas are employed to help support, teach advocacy techniques and guide caregivers and parents with new babies. Utilize your options, research support in your area and hire a Doula to help out. Having the non birthing parent take the wheel and know where to go is so empowering but can be so scary too. Support is out there. Doulas are for Dads.